I don’t know why I ever denied my mission to become the Andy Rooney of the internet, but it’s now unavoidable.

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John Locke was supposed to get the power-up and win the game, and now he’s dead. How does that make any sense. The show gets worse and worse, but nobody can stop. Even with their silly donkey wheel it’s just more stupid stunts and more nonsense. Even if he’s going to be like Ghost Dad, it doesn’t matter, they don’t know what they’re doing, never did, the writers suck, and think they’re cool but they’re not.

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I read a lot of conservative blogs. It’s hard not to find a lot of conservative blogs on the internet. It’s total Roman Empire crap: if you get enough people to shout your message loud and clear enough I guess that makes you right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not biased enough to say they’re 100% nonsense, and I don’t like the ideologues on either side. It’s like they feel you can’t educate a person legitimately these days, you have to put a evolution mickey in their drink or a creationism pill in their dog food before they know any better about anything. Before we had earnest debates, now it’s how many you can fool into writing you hugeass checks based on your version of everything. I hope I get that many commentors here, who just blindly agree with everything, and put clever racist spins on it while they’re at it.

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If you got this far, what is wrong with you. I don’t write to be read, but I don’t write private cause I’m just as exhibitionist as everybody else in my generation. Besides, that’s somehow a motive to keep going, that it’s not Emily Dickinson, all locked up in some room, undiscovered until she’s been dead for a century. Hey, Emily Dickinson: that sucks, bro.

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That book I’m supposed to be writing, I’m spending too much time dicking around, wasting my life on more BS, like the sort of stuff I’d go on and on about here before. I’ll start when I take vacation time. Yeah, I need to do this that seriously, this is quarter-life crisis material here. Making the best of it, just doing what I need to. I’m sure there’s plenty other things less time-consuming, but if I were that simple, I wouldn’t be writing utter nonsense here on a Friday night. The deists can use an intellectual on their side.

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I’m out.

Yeah, that’s about all there is to it.

May is pretty terrible so far. I already learned enough for the whole month.

– The day after my Playstation 3 arrived, the replacement was sent out. Wow, guys. Thanks guys. For ruining my life with Grand Auto Thefts. I can take a break from the real internet, to surf the fake internet. Maybe watch some fake strippers. WE WERE BORN TO BE, ALIIIVE.

– Hey kids feel your balls so you don’t get cancer. At least once a month. 18-35 is the high-risk age you know, especially if you’ve got family history. Then we men get a 5 year break, and then BOOM it’s prostate season. Fun fact, in 1950, if you told somebody that somebody got cancer, they’d say, What the hell is that??? Now? BOOSH. I guess we’re not born to be alive after all!

– I wonder if not hearing that guy go VROOOM down the street every night has anything to with the fact that on Saturday night someone knocked the left side mirror off of my car and smashed it up completely. If so, haha sucker you deserve it, hope you did more damage to yourself than to me. And why are you reading this??? Nobody comes here.

– It turns out I DID get Laura Busch pregnant in high school, and she wants eight years of back child support. Oopsilon! I hope he has my outrageous dancing moves!

You know what, forget this.